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to shame, revealing that her beloved
Rabbi Kapstein's job approval ratinghas fallento an all-time low at
Temple Rita. In a last-ditch attempt to improve the rabbi's "charisma
quotient" (in answer to the question "Is our rabbi as dynamic as you thought he would be?"
Kevin scored "one percent"), Essie Sue decides to showcase his
leadership ability by having him conduct a tour for temple
members. She learns through the kosher grapevine that a
long-lost cousin is currently sailing Caribbean for Bargain
Cruise Lines - Motto: We Pass Waters Where Others Fear to
Tread - A bargain! What could be wrong with that? And when the
cruise line is willing to move cabins wholesale for
fund-raising purposes, a discount deal is sealed." "Though
Ruby loves to travel, this is not the trip of her dreams. The
Cruise from Hell begins when Professor Willie Bob Gonzales,
the ship's lecturer, dies suddenly in the embarkation area,
leaving a laptop full of notes on the Conversos - Jews who
became Christians to escape the tortures of the Spanish
Inquisition, and who were known to have emigrated to the
islands" The food is terrible - Ruby groans from the chefs
version of island delights with the flavor of yesterday's Taco
Bell, and struggles with the consequences of a bargain voyage
- portholes sealed with bubblegum and nightly entertainment by
Elvis impersonators. And to make things perfect, Captain
Goldberg has the hots for her.
Editorial Reviews
From
Publishers Weekly
Widow Ruby Rothman and the gang from Temple
Rita in Eternal, Tex., return for a third riotous tale of murder
and mayhem from Agatha Award-nominee Kahn (Fax Me a Bagel and
Never Nosh a Matzo Ball). The irksome temple yenta Essie Sue
Margolis, fund-raising chairperson and resident busybody, plans a
Caribbean cruise with a Jewish sea captain and Prof. Willie Bob
Gonzales, who will lecture on Jews of the Caribbean. Ruby knows
from a survey she conducted that their rabbi, Kevin Kapstein, is
losing ground with his congregation. She's certain that the cruise
will boost his waning popularity. However, the survey is anything
but kosher, the sea captain is actually Essie Sue's cousin Horatio
(n‚ Harry) Goldberg, and Willie Bob dies mysteriously at Ruby's
feet while waiting to board the ship. And as if that weren't
enough, the boat runs into a severe storm, the opening gala dinner
features plastic tablecloths and frozen chicken and it looks like
the cruise to die for will be the cruise to die from. Even a
possible shipboard romance, the first romantic interest Ruby has
felt since her husband's death, is fraught with suspicion and
doubts as she uses her high-tech computer skills and the aid of
her mysterious e-mail friend, Nan, to discover what really
happened to Willie Bob. A fast-paced mystery, a cast of quirky
characters, humor and wit that will make readers giggle if not
laugh out loud, as well as an enchanting sleuth, make this a
delightful addition to the series.
From Library
Journal
Ruby (Fax Me a Bagel), a plump-and-proud
rabbi's widow and part-owner of a bagel shop in Eternal, TX, wins
a free Caribbean cruise trip sponsored by her temple. Several
disadvantages become apparent. First, it's a budget cruise put
together by the temple's ubiquitous control freak. Second, the
professor in charge of their study of Caribbean Jews collapses and
dies just before boarding. Then, during a week of clouds and rain,
someone attacks Ruby while she's taking pictures.
--
From
Booklist
When Ruby Rothman wins a trip to the Caribbean in Temple Rita's
raffle, she knows there's got to be a catch; there always is when
frustrating Essie Sue Margolis and bungling Rabbi Kapstein are
involved. But Ruby, desperately in need of a vacation, ignores her
gut instinct and climbs aboard, hoping for the best.
Unfortunately, sunny beaches and quiet evenings and an opportunity
to visit historic Jewish sites never materialize. Instead, what
she gets are Elvis look-alikes, drenching rains, pink and blue
tacos, and a smarmy captain (Essie Sue's cousin), who tries to get
her in bed. And one more thing: someone tries to kill her. Ruby's
little house in Eternal, Texas, is looking better all the time.
Never one to cave in the face of pressure, Ruby summons her
courage and investigates, using her energy and good humor to solve
the case and deal with over-the-top Essie Sue and her comically
lecherous relative. Fast and fun from beginning to end.
Stephanie Zvirin
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From The Critics
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Library Journal
Ruby (Fax Me a Bagel), a plump-and-proud rabbi's widow and
part-owner of a bagel shop in Eternal, TX, wins a free
Caribbean cruise trip sponsored by her temple. Several
disadvantages become apparent. First, it's a budget cruise put
together by the temple's ubiquitous control freak. Second, the
professor in charge of their study of Caribbean Jews collapses
and dies just before boarding. Then, during a week of clouds
and rain, someone attacks Ruby while she's taking pictures.
The narrative proceeds with wild abandon, blatant
cruise-bashing, and much humor, so this should provide the
rest and relaxation the doctor ordered.
Kirkus Reviews
Looks like stormy seas ahead for the hapless congregants of
Temple Rita who've boarded the Bargain II for a cut-rate
cruise to St. Thomas. Since her Ecumenical Diet Seder failed
to rake in the shekels, Essie Sue Margolis, intent on raising
funds to erect a 5,000-pound marble likeness of her late
sister, Marla, on the grounds of the Eternal, Texas,
synagogue, has roped her fellow worshippers into the cruise
from hell. Even Ruby Rothman, the usually skeptical widow of
the former rabbi, is on board, encouraged by her business
partner Milt Aboud, who's recommended a little R&R for Ruby
(Never Nosh a Matzo Ball, 2000, etc.). What could it hurt?
Well, it could hurt her feet, since the cruise's lecturer,
Professor Willie Bob Gonzales, falls on them when he keels
over dead just before embarking. It could hurt her back, when
the Bargain II's lecherous skipper Horatio Goldberg makes a
grab for her during a private tour of the captain's quarters.
It could hurt her head, because somebody knocks her cold as
she tries to photograph the interior of the
closed-for-renovations synagogue on Charlotte Amalie. But most
important, it could break her heart if it turns out that her
shipboard sweetie, handsome reporter Ed Levenger, is actually
a cold-blooded killer. Although the mystery's solution is
perfunctory (the main clue is never completely explained),
Kahn's attention to every outrageous detail-from the
pink-on-pink ballroom to the rainbow tacos filled with sardine
and frankfurter-makes this a voyage to remember.
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